3 Public Speaking Myths

Many myths about public speaking have been passed along from person to person over the years, and the one thing that is consistent about these myths is that the people who pass them along are still nervous about speaking. After facilitating over 200 public speaking classes and never having a single person fail to significantly reduce his/her fear of speaking, I had a dramatic realization. Just about everything I was taught about public speaking while I was in school and from well meaning peers and coworkers – WAS WRONG!

Below are the top three myths that we have identified, and some simple tips that will help you reduce your fear or nervousness.

Myth #1: If you write out a talk and memorize it, you’ll be more comfortable.

This is the fastest, easiest way to make your presentation boring and canned and to make you more nervous. When you memorize a talk word-for-word, any slight hick-up or distraction can throw you off track. That can increase your nervousness. Instead, write out just a few key points and practice giving stories or examples to back up each point.

Myth #2: More facts/details will better clarify your topic.

Most of us believe that a little is good, more is better, and a whole bunch is just right in public speaking. If I can give you 10 reasons why my topic is true, then that is obviously better than two or three reasons, right? Well in public speaking, the more points we offer, the more confused our audience can become. A good rule of thumb is five or less. So, after you decide on your topic, narrow down the key points that support your topic to around five key points or fewer. If your talk requires more than five points, then it would be best to divide the presentation into two different talks.
Myth #3: Nervous habits make you a poor speaker.

Most people think that “Uhms,” talking fast, and nervous gestures are bad, but in fact, these things can make you very relatable to your audience. “Uhm” is a normal word in the English language. We say this word all the time in normal conversation. When it’s not there, the speaker can sound phony and forced. Plus, I’ve found that if you try to get yourself to stop saying “Uhm,” you’ll probably just start saying it more often anyway. Also, when people speak fast and move more, they show energy and enthusiasm. I’ve had many speakers come through my classes who were scared to get up and speak at the beginning of the program, but when they did speak, the audience thought that they were excellent speakers. The audience saw the nervousness and assumed it was enthusiasm.

Realize that speaking well is like learning to play golf. If you get a group of hackers together to coach each other, you’re just going to get a group of people very proficient at a bad golf swing. However, if you get a good coach, he can shave strokes off in no time. If you really want to get good at public speaking quickly, get a good coach who doesn’t buy-in to all the speaking myths.

If you take only one piece of advice about public speaking, make sure that it is this pearl of wisdom.

If you focus on this one simple thing, the number of times you say “uhm” won’t matter. If you focus on this one thing, your gestures and not knowing what to do with your hands won’t matter. If you focus on this one thing, then the occasional loss of train of thought won’t matter. In fact, if you focus on this one simple thing, you can break just about every rule that public speakers are supposed to abide by, and you will still win over your audience.

This one simple rule has transformed countless mediocre speakers into good speakers, scores of good speakers into great speakers, and numerous great speakers into world-class speakers.

This simple rule that can make or break a speaker is… ENTHUSIASM!

That’s right, if you have a little excitement in your talk and a spring in your step, people pay attention. Your audience will have just about as much excitement about your talk as you do, and no more. So, if you want to win over your audience, add a sparkle of enthusiasm.

One of my mentors told me that there are two rules to live by in the world of professional speakers. She said, “Rule number one is to never speak on a topic that you yourself are not enthusiastic about, and rule number two is that if you ever violate rule number one, fake it ’til you make it.”

Frank Bettger in his book How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling said it a different way. He said, “If you act enthusiastic, then you’ll be enthusiastic.”

For those of us who get nervous in front of groups, it’s even easier. In the previous chapter I pointed out that 90% of our nervousness doesn’t even show. Let’s look at the other 10%. When we are nervous, we often cut out preambles and get right to the point, our rate of speech typically speeds up, we tend to move around a lot more, and we may move our hands around more than normal. Well, when we are excited about something, we do the exact same things.

Years ago, when I was a sales manager, I was often amazed at the number of times that a brand new sales person without a lot of product knowledge and absolutely no experience, could close sale after sale while my more seasoned people were struggling. The more times I went on sales calls with these new people, the more I started to notice a pattern. New salespeople are often nervous, so when they walk into an office on a sales call, they tend to cut right to the chase. They also generally talk faster because they are afraid they’ll forget something. They have a tough time sitting still because of the nervousness, so they move around a lot.

I noticed that these symptoms of nervousness worked to the advantage of these new salespeople, because their prospects looked across the table at salespeople who appeared to be extremely enthusiastic about what they were selling. I would imagine that these potential buyers were saying things to themselves like, “if this person believes so much in this product, it must be good.”

We as speakers can also use our nervousness to our advantage. When we turn that pent up nervousness into energy and enthusiasm, our audience can’t help but be energized as well.

Effective Public Speaking in Business Presentations:  Tips on how to design and deliver business presentations for your next meeting or training session

By Doug Staneart

Right or wrong, people form a perception about how competent you are by how you present yourself when you stand and speak. They also form perceptions about the company you represent based on your performance. In fact, public speaking is an easy way to set yourself apart from your competition, because when you stand up and say what you want to say, they way that you want to say it, you are doing what 95% of the people in the audience wish they could do. A person who is confident in front of a group gives off an air of competence, whereas a person who fumbles might leave a negative impression.

When I was in college, I had an internship with a major oil company, and at the end of the summer, I had to present a summary of my internship to a group of department managers and vice-presidents. I was the youngest person in the room, just 20. Many of the other interns were graduate students who were much more comfortable in front of a group. When I spoke, I could feel the sweat beads on my forehead, and I could see my hands shaking. The butterflies in my stomach were uncontrollable. After the presentation, I asked myself, “If I were the decision-maker in that room, and I only had one permanent position to offer, would I choose me?” I had to answer “no.” Over the next few years, I trained with some of the most successful public speaking coaches in the country. Since then, I have spoken before thousands of people, and coached hundreds of managers, executives, and other leaders on how to present more effectively to groups. Below are some of the great public speaking tips that I have found that really work.

1. Realize 90% of nervousness doesn’t even show. The audience usually can’t see the butterflies, or shaky hands, or sweaty palms. The problem occurs when we start thinking about these symptoms rather than focusing on the audience and our topic. By human nature, most people are focused on themselves not on you. Focus on them and two things will happen: 1) they will like you more, and 2) much of the nervousness that you feel will go away.
2. Add some enthusiasm to your talk. Your audience will never be more excited about your talk than you are, so give them some energy, and they will give it back to you. Walk about a half step faster. Smile. Let your gestures and voice emphasis come naturally. Don’t over do it, but give more energy than what you normally would.
3. Limit your talk to a few key points. Narrow down your topic to either one key point for a short talk, or thee key point for a longer talk (a talk longer than 30-minutes.) Ask yourself, “If my audience only remembered one thing from my talk, what would be most important thing for them to remember?” The reason this is so important is that the human mind likes to think of only one thing at a time. For instance, think of the Statue of Liberty. What do you see? You probably see a picture in your mind of the statue. Now think of a pink elephant. Again, you probably see a picture in your mind, but the important question is…where did the statue go? Your mind can only truly focus on one thing at a time. As you add additional points, each previous point will become diluted. The more points your presentation has, the less focus the audience will have on each individual point. Once you have your key points, then create your PowerPoint slides. That will keep you from having hundreds of PowerPoint slides.
4. Tell stories. Don’t tell little white lies, but do tell anecdotes and personal experiences. Stories build rapport with your audience, and they give you more credibility. Your audience will remember your stories a lot longer than they will remember your talking points. I heard Les Brown, a famous motivational speaker, years ago, and he told a story about how a man in his hometown went around the town square holding two baby dolls and squawking like a chicken. Kids in town made fun of him, but Les found out that this man’s house had caught on fire, and his two baby girls died in the blaze. The man attempted to go in and save them many times, but the heat was too great. When his brother-in-law showed up, he verbally assaulted the man calling him a chicken for not going in to save his girls. Ever since then, the man has not spoken a word — instead he just clucks like a chicken. I heard this story years ago, and I can’t remember the specific point Les Brown was making on stage. I do remember the “chicken-man,” though, and I frequently think about how I should get all the facts before passing judgment on people. Les Brown’s stories have longevity, and your stories will have that type of impact as well.
5. When in doubt, speak from the heart. Let your audience see the real you, and you will have a great speaking performance.

Seven steps that you can take to better P.R.E.P.A.R.E. for your next speaking event. These are time-tested tips to reduce nervousness.

By: Richard M. Highsmith, M.S.

“I can’t believe I agreed to do this speech. Look at all those people out there! My knees are shaking, and my stomach feels like I just went over the top of a roller coaster. My heart is beating so fast and hard my tie is jumping. I just want to scream and run away!”

Speaking in public is often cited as the number one fear of adults. The Book of Lists places the fear of death in fifth place while public speaking ranks first. Jerry Seinfeld said, “That would mean at a funeral, people are five times more likely to want to be in the casket than giving the eulogy.”

Let’s look at some techniques to deal with the anxiety and give an excellent presentation. The methods are divided into the acronym P.R.E.P.A.R.E.

Preparation - The foundation of a good speech is built on the 6 “W’s” of effective journalism. You must determine:

• Who is your audience?
• What are your key points?
• When are you speaking; how long?
• Where is the speech; physical surroundings?
• Why should the audience listen to you?
• hoW are you going to present?

In an effective speech your audience will only remember 3 to 4 main ideas. Decide on the essential ideas vital for their understanding your topic. These are your key points. Make a brief outline with supporting details, quotes and graphics.

Rehearse - Practice is essential. Try delivering your talk without using any notes and check your timing during this rehearsal. If you have to use notes, then just jot down your key points. Don’t attempt to memorize the entire speech word for word. Mark Twain said, “It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” That is the effect you are working toward – a conversational, impromptu style, but with thorough knowledge of the material.

Entry - Launching your presentation is as important as the takeoff of an airplane. If the liftoff fails, the rest of the trip becomes irrelevant. Determine how you are going to start your speech and commit the first several lines to memory. An excellent beginning includes telling the audience why they want to listen. What is the benefit to them?

If you are particularly nervous, look for a sympathetic face and talk to that person for several moments. Do not begin with an apology… “I didn’t have much time to prepare this talk.” Or “I’m not really very good at giving speeches.” Starting with a negative makes the audience uncomfortable. Remember you feel more anxious than you look. Convert your nervous energy into enthusiasm and launch your speech positively.

Posturing – Your body is a tool. Learn to use it effectively. Find your center of balance. Your feet should be firmly planted about shoulder width apart. Hold your shoulders back and chin up. Stand calmly, being careful not to fidget or sway. Let your hands rest by your sides.

Make your movements purposeful. If you make a gesture with your hands, let them return to the resting position by your side. Don’t wander around the room. If you want to go to a different location – go there and then stop. Speak to one person at a time and maintain eye contact.

Your voice has volume, tone and pace. Realize you will speak faster and at a higher pitch than you did when you were rehearsing. Be aware of this tendency. Speak loudly enough so everyone in the room can hear you, but not so loudly the people in the front rows are covering their ears.

Audience - Know your audience. Don’t be like William Safire who said, “Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.” What does your audience know about the topic? Try and anticipate their questions. During the presentation, seek reactions, questions and concerns. This makes you appear accessible and allows you to move through the topic with your audience following along closely.

If possible greet audience members as they arrive. Ask why they came or about their interests in the topic. Adjust your presentation plans to better meet their needs. Finally keep in mind the audience is not your enemy – they want you to succeed. Nobody came to watch you flail or fail. Engage people and make them partners in your successful talk.

Relax – Remember the physical reactions you experience in front of a group are normal. When confronted with a stimulating situation the body resorts to the “fight” or “flight” response. Your pulse increases. Adrenaline releases into your bloodstream. Your body prepares for a physical response but you have to stay put!

Sometimes your mind generates negative thoughts. Michael Pritchard said, “Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.” Deal with the fear by building a solid foundation (know your topic!) and feeling confident in your message. Take a few deep breaths. Mild exercise or stretching can disperse some of the anxious energy. Smile.

Ending - Like the touchdown of an airplane, your presentation must be landed correctly. Begin the end by summarizing your key points. Next ask for audience questions and clarify any remaining issues. Then make your closing statement, which should encourage some action. What do you want the audience to do? Memorizing the last few lines ensures a strong close. Finally smile and nod your head.

If the thought of speaking in public makes you anxious, you probably will be. However if you P.R.E.P.A.R.E., the level of your anxiety will be lower and you will deliver a better, more effective speech. Who knows, you may find you like giving the eulogy better than being in the casket!

Any time we try something new and have what we consider to be a success, we gain confidence in that skill. Any time we try something new and feel like we failed, we diminish confidence.

Think about learning to speak in front of a group as we do about riding a bicycle. When a kid hops on a bicycle, rides for a few yards, then falls over, the Mom or Dad, usually says something like, “Look how far you rode! Let’s see if you can go farther next time,” not “You did good, HOWEVER, toward the end there, you really tapered off, so you should probably keep pedaling a little longer and make sure you keep a firm grip on the handlebars, and oh yeah, by the way, you looked a little shaky, so keep your posture upright so you can have better control of the bike.”

_______________________________________

Most Nervousness in Public Speaking
Comes From Perceived Failures
Created From Constructive Criticism
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HOWEVER, that’s the way most friends and coworkers coach speakers. We tell the speaker something good, but then we follow up with either a BUT or a HOWEVER. What that tells the speaker is, “What I just told you was just to make you feel better, BUT here is how you really did.”

A seasoned presenter will be able to accept this type of coaching more positively. A new speaker, though, will most likely reduce his/her confidence and focus primarily on fixing the problem instead of presenting well. For instance, if we count “Uhs,” then over time, a new presenter will focus on not saying “uh” instead of on presenting his/her talk well. Consequently, the speaker will most likely say “uh” more often.

Constructive criticism in public speaking usually sounds like the following (I’ve included natural interpretations that we all internalize when we hear these types of comments about ourselves):

- Slow down (You talk so fast that people can’t understand you.)
- Speak up (You timid little person… We can’t hear you.)
- Stand up straighter (We can all see that you are not confident enough to present well.)
- Take your hands off the lectern (We want to be able to see your hands shake.)

And there are dozens more. Just remember, the best type of coaching you can give a new speaker is to tell them they look natural and confident (if that is a stretch, tell them how much courage they have.) Let them get comfortable speaking a few times and have a few successes in front of a group. After a few successes, a lot of the menial nervous ticks and symptoms will start to diminish. When the trust is high between you and the speaker, and he/she knows that you think he/she is confident, then you can begin to offer a few constructive comments a little at a time.

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It’s time to set the record straight. ANYONE can be a fantastic, world-class speaker with a little bit of training, a little bit of coaching, and a little bit of practice. It doesn’t take years of study and practice, and it doesn’t take thousands of dollars of investment. One of the hardest things to get across to new presenters is the immutable fact that just about everything that you have ever learned about public speaking and creating good business presentations is flat out WRONG!

The following are some of the biggest myths about stage fright and public speaking training:

Myth #1: Good Speakers have a Natural Talent (Born Speakers)

This one always makes me laugh because no one comes out of the womb speaking. In fact, for the first couple of years, our entire speech is “Goo goo gaa gaa”. Granted, if you have a nice sounding voice, you might have an advantage in front of a group, or if you are stunningly good looking, you might command attention better. However, most great speakers become great at presenting because they really work at it. Here is the real secret that the academics, the toasting clubs, and the seminar leaders won’t tell you. Public speaking is an EASY skill to master if you practice the right way. However, instead of doing things to decrease their nervousness, most new speakers work really hard to try to hide their nervousness. What tends to happen is that the tricks and gimmicks that we use only make us more nervous.

Myth #2: I’m Way More Nervous than Everyone Else

Surveys show that 95% of the population admit to feeling public speaking fear or stage fright. Surveys also show that over 45% of the population admit that the stage fright that they feel is so great that they avoid opportunities to present in front of groups. One of the first things that we share with people when we coach them as speakers, or when they come through one of our public speaking classes or presentation seminars, is that most of the stuff that happens to us when we get nervous is invisible to the audience. For example, just before we start to speak, most of us will start to feel our heart beating more quickly and forcefully. Some people will get sweaty palms or feel the butterflies in their stomach. We might feel light headed or even lose our train of thought. What do all of these things have in common? They are things that we FEEL, but are absolutely transparent to the audience. The problem that typically occurs, though, is that when we feel these symptoms of nervousness, we sometimes panic, and we might begin to feel even more nervous. What you want to remember is that other people who are presenting feel nervous too. You’re not alone. The good news is, that if you reduce your nervousness, you will have a distinct advantage over the other 95% of presenters.

Myth #3: Constructive Criticism (Critiques) is the Best Way to Improve

Ever since that first oral report or book report that we each gave in high school, we’ve been told that constructive criticism or critiquing our speeches will improve the way the we speak in front of groups. It was reinforced in speech class, communications class, or whatever your High School or University called it. It was reinforced again when we went to that Toastmasters group and the grammarian and another speaker-in-training gave us constructive feedback. However, this particular technique has never, ever worked. Here’s why. The only way to get constructive criticism is to first have a failure — and if you don’t have a failure, then the job of the critic is to find something wrong with what you did. Anytime we do something for the first time and have a failure, we get more nervous the next time that we attempt it (if we have the courage to do so). A good coach won’t use this technique much. Instead, the coach will show the person how to succeed in public speaking, and then praise the presenter as he/she moves toward that goal.

Myth #4: Video Tape Feedback for Presentation Skills Training is Valuable

Okay, this one is somewhat true, but in a lot of cases, watching yourself speak on video when you are nervous will just make you more nervous. However, watching your video with a coach who will help you see improvements along the way will improve your confidence exponentially. Most of us are very critical of ourselves, so we will nit-pick our presentation nine ways to Sunday if we review it alone. So get a good coach before you start trying to use video tape as a tool.

Myth #5: It Takes Years to Become a Great Speaker

Public Speaking skill is just like any other skill in that when you practice and have a success, you feel more confident about yourself and you get better next time. So the key to becoming a great speaker fast is to have a series of successes quickly. Toastmasters is a great organization, but a lucky speaker might get a chance to give five speeches in two or three years, and there is a good chance that not every one of those speeches are going to be winners. So, after a couple of years, a Toastmaster won’t see a great growth in public speaking skills. When you go to a class at a University or Junior College, you might get to speak three times in a 12 week class, and after each speech, you’ll get the dreaded constructive criticism. So that way will take a while as well. However, if you want gain presentation skills quickly, find a way to deliver four to six presentations with a really good coach in a short period of time. Ideally, if you can do it in a couple of days, you’ll grow quickly. However, I’ve seen people have a lot of success by setting up a series of weekly speeches at the office or as a guest speaker at a Rotary Club or Chamber of Commerce meeting to get practice.

If We Used “Normal” Presentation Skills Teaching to Develop Other Important Skills

Here’s an example of another type of training that would be ridiculous if we tried it the way that most people attempt to gain public speaking skills. Let’s say that we use “normal” public speaking techniques to teach someone how to drive a car. (You can insert any skill into this example, by the way — learning to ride a bike, operating a computer for the first time, building something, baking a cake for the first time, etc.)

Myth #1: Good Drivers have a Natural Talent. If we sent every 16 year-old kid out onto the freeway with no training. A few of them might do well, but most are going to have crashing failures. The few that do well will be seen as “Born Drivers,” but the rest would be scared spitless of driving.

Myth #2: I’m More Nervous than Everyone Else. If you’re one of the 95% who had a failure on the freeway, but you still see a lot of people driving, you might believe you are the only one who is scared.

Myth #3: Constructive Criticism is the Best Way to Improve. Again, you’re still one of the 95% who just had the hair-raising experience on the freeway. Now you sit down in a classroom as one of your peers (or a teacher) rips apart your experience and tells you every little thing that you did wrong. Feeling better about the experience now?

Myth #4: Video Tape Feedback for Driving is Valuable. Now you go back and watch the video of your fiery crash. I wouldn’t blame you if you never drove again.

Myth #5: It Takes Years to Become a Great Driver. If, after you had the above experience, you only attempted to drive once every three months or so for about two minutes at a time, guess what? It will take a LOOOOOONG time to get better. Sadly, you probably never will.

Instead, get a good coach who you trust and conquer the fear now — just like you did when you were 15 or 16 years-old and you took driver’s education. Remember the techniques that we used back then? We got a little training and practiced with a coach right away, and we didn’t move on until we had a success. Remember, you couldn’t leave the school parking lot until you got really good at pulling in and out of a parking space.

By Connie Timpson/ Sr. Instructor at The Leader’s Institute

“It’s not that long. I can memorize it.” Maybe. But why would you? Memorizing speeches sets you up for anxiety and possible failure. It robs you of spontaneity and creative thought. If someone interrupts your speech to ask a question, you may find that the tumblers on the memory vault have shifted and the words are locked up.

Nothing is worse that standing in front of an audience with panic threatening to knock you to your knees. (Although that might get you some sympathy.) As you search for the words, the audience searches for the exit.

If you accept a speaking invitation, use your intellect, expertise, a three-point outline and all the spontaneity and enthusiasm you can muster. Spontaneity, passion and enthusiasm all provide an instant connection to your audience, and an open door to information and ideas that you have stored in the bank vault. You could become known as an expert who dazzles audiences, rather than the speaker who lost his or her words.